A few years ago I lost my mother suddenly to a brain hemorrhage, a very devastating time in my life as it were. I just graduated two months before and was about to start my Master’s Degree program at a prestigious school in Boston, my home city. Before she passed away, I was probably the most ambitious, unrelenting and definitely unromantic girl out there. I mean I thought love was fine and dandy, but I’m a goal-oriented gal. But then she died, and I didn’t just lose her, I lost my whole family over the course of the last 2 years.
I tried to keep going to my fancy schmancy school, I took three jobs, but it took its toll on me and I wasn’t living anymore. So I packed up my things and transferred to the sunshine state. My mother held us all together, when she passed away, everyone moved away including me. But I tried to make my family more of a family, yet they only wanted my money. I spent most of my savings on just giving money and then they found a way out of paying me back by starting little arguments. I tried to patch things up, I tried to be a good person like my mom, but as it turns out, I’m not her. She gave everything to them, and I never asked, I only wanted her time. But I began to see that they probably did this to her too. So I apologized for the mistakes I guess I could have made, I sent gifts…. I didn’t want to lose my past.
I moved back north to the big city, having already met the G-Man in the sunshine state and fallen madly in love. He was my rock during getting sick with heart issues, losing my family, graduating… all these life things. It’s taken a long time to say it, but he’s my family, my best friend, and the love of my life. So when he got a job there and not here, going there is the best thing I can do. We’ve done this long distance thing for nearly two years, meeting up in Ireland, NYC, a few months spent together…. It’s just not enough, we are both despondent without another.
As emotional as this all seems, I’m moving to Deutschland and although I’ll be far away from some awesomely great friends I’ve had and made, it’s time for me to meet new people and slow down a little. It’s time to start living again. And I did plan on doing this post tomorrow, but the G-Man says I’m not supposed to work on Sundays, and that the Germans believe this. So there you have it, probably more than you bargained for; I could have just said I fell in love and that was it. But there are so many reasons to drop everything and go somewhere, but they all have one commonality; it feels right.