After many trips to the dr’s office, I’m still not over my recurring illnesses ranging from common colds to sinus infections to spinal blockage to bacterial infections. I cannot catch a break! I’ve also been working on my weight loss plan, since moving to Germany I’ve gained 20 pounds, and every time I start more exercise routines, I come down with another illness which affects my abilities. So I decided to restrict my diet more, and as it turns out, is a lot easier. Although this has rarely been an issue of mine, as most of you know. Sure I cannot live without chocolate, but also, I adjust my diet based on that. I hardly ever push past 1600 calories a day. And according to my past nutritionists, this has been my problem. I need to be eating 1900 a day to drop weight, but I’m just not there yet. More veggies, more protein, blah blah.

Anyway, I was making a list in my head of pros and cons of coming to Germany mostly because I was angry. So far, I’ve been sick most of the time, gained weight, had dismal failure in making friends and/or retaining them, have been incredibly stressed with work in a multitude of areas, and our neighbor is a crotchety jerk face who threatens to call the police on us if we, for instance, try to hang a picture on the wall at 6 at night. He has written us a letter just a day before Christmas Eve to tell us how loud we were the weekend before, but the thing was, we were loud because I came down with a case of the stomach flu, and that was a very loud experience. Naturally. This guy has some serious issues. And he reminded us just yesterday that we cannot be loud after 4 pm on Saturday, and not at all on Sunday. As per the German rules of loudness. This leaves us little to no time to hang up things on our walls, clean our house or even do laundry, yes he is that specific.

The pro here is that I’m with G-Man and I love him a lot, and I’m beginning to see what kind of life I want with him; children, family, adventure…. That is absolutely amazing. We spend more time laughing than we do fighting, which says a lot. But I want to feel appreciated in my career, challenged in my career, accountable and comfortable. One of my worst character flaws is dealing with authority. In every job I’ve had, the only ones I stuck with and loved were the ones where I respected my boss as much as they respected me. Pretty much every library job I’ve had, and working in Bryant Park in NYC with a pastry chef that had the same education, same teachers as me. Now that was pretty cool! But here is the thing, I’m close to 60,000 in debt for having my BS and MS, and I don’t want to work for people who don’t use my strengths and appreciate my work. This has been a problem in some of my more recent occupations, and although I could start caring less and not be affected by work, that’s not me. I need purpose, I need a reason to be hopeful in the morning when I get up. I don’t need stress and I don’t want to find purpose in having a family and getting married when I’m not doing my utmost in the other areas. I was that kid growing up that couldn’t go to the movie on Saturday night if I missed school on Friday for being sick. I didn’t feel that I deserved it; when you work hard, you have the right to play hard (although my hard playing is more like going to the movies or meeting with friends for a dinner).

Anyway those are my complaints currently.But I’m gonna make this work out, even if the cons seem to outweigh the pros, the pro is far more meaningful to me.


7 thoughts on “Cons

  1. ok, im not gonna pretend to be qualified and prescribe you a magic answer. that being said, have you tried snacking? at my old job as an outdoor recreation guide (hiking climbing caving canoeing etc) we had this thing called gorp (granola oats raisins peanuts -or peanut m&ms). anyway its purpose is a high energy snack to keep you going on day long hikes in between bigger meals. this might help just have a loose grab bag of some tasty cereals, some dried fruit and some nuts and seeds and since its good finger food, it might help when you dont have time to sit down and eat properly, but thats just a suggestion (i do this now instead of snacking on pringles after i found out pringles have msg) you could even put in some natural home made popcorn if you dig the sweet and salty. try hot tea with your meals, but not too much liquid after eating (it weakens the digestive juices) and lots of vitamin C so you can beat these germs proactively and preemptively. again, these are just suggestions, but asians have been doing it forever, so there must be something to it.

    AND this may sound more harsh than i intend, but try an endocrinological screening, maybe there is something going on at the glandular level that is handicapping your immune system and affecting your metabolism (my sister’s friend was severly overweight but had anorexic behaviours and had no idea why she STILL wasnt losing weight, turns out she had hashimoto’s)

    and i resonate with your pro and con list, every time i feel something angry against germany i remind myself why i am here and immediately find a pro to counter the negativity. i picked germany for a very important reason and i cant let something like shitty weather or a break-up get in the way of that. and after all (not that it applies in your case but..) one boy shouldn’t have the power to ruin germany for me lol. stick with it. there are shitty days, and then really really shitty days, but when the sun shines, it makes up for it. remember its just temporary (unless nanny is what you want to do for a career, and even if it was, do it for the kids, because in the end, they know who is on their side when they need it), keep your eye on the prize and it takes more energy to hate than to love, so those people hating are just making themselves grow older much much faster and they will be old and bitter and wrinkley and you will be sparkly and fresh. as for your jerk neighbor, let him call the cops. let him call the cops so many times they stop coming. HE is not your tenant, HE cant kick you out. and if you are not being unreasonable HE will just have to go elsewhere or stfu.

    anyway sorry for the long reply, but i hope these are words worthy of digestion.

  2. aaah i get you girl had and still have the same problem health,weight and job wise!! i gained 26kg in my first 8 months!!! we moved to a diffirent country with diffrent foods and stuff and you’ve got to taste them ALL cause how would you know if you might like them or not!! was also very alone at the beginning – hubby works late, had NO friends, couldn’t speak the language didn’t have a job THUS the extra love (i’m not fat i’m full of love) i’ve put on!!! FRUSTRATING,DEPRESSING,SHITTY!!!!! oooh and the weather got to me!! okay i know i’ve been living abroad since 1999 but the weather in england and the netherlands was not like it’s here!!! and coming from sunny south africa i was in a MAJOR depro!!!! job wise it got better for me buuuuut the most frustrating and depressing part is that my diplomas are worth ZERO in this country and i worked hard to get them and paid a hell of alot of money on my education!! i love my job i have now but as you said not feeling valued or getting recognition for being competent is FRUSTRATING, DEPRESSING AND SHITTY!!!!
    but chin up babes it will get better!!! as long as g-man supports you and comforts you you’ll make it!! and i’m also there!!! my shoulders are BIG AND FLUFFY!!! and my ears are also there!!!! sooooo glad i got to get to know you!!
    xxx hugs

  3. Don’t stress too much, you’re doing great and your PRO is absolutely worth it. I’ve been here for nearly two years now and have gone through much the same, including the weight gain which I attributed to a completely new diet. Eventually, though, you get used to it and you’l be back to feeling normal. In regards to the difficulty meeting and retaining friends, i struggle with this even now. But the best advice I got regarding this was just to be patient as it tends to take longer to make really good friends with Germans compared to how it sometimes feels in the U.S. The ones you do make (and I’m finally getting to that point) are TRUE, and long term, so it pays off in the end. Good luck!

    1. Thanks for your kind words; I’ll definitely work on being patient. It can be a struggle some days to be really positive about things, but comments like this help, so thank you again!

      1. I agree with texasborn, your pro is definitely worth it! I think I have been to the doctors more in Germany, than the previous 20 years put together in the States! I chalk it up too culture shock? One doctor did tell me you have to expect a reasonable amount of time for your body to adjust and to adjust to the difference in food. Anyways, I just take each day and try my best to be sensible. I love your optimism!! Good Luck! – Marianne

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