So…. as most of you know, my time over here in Germany hasn’t been THAT amazing. There are things I really like, and things I don’t, naturally. I make a lot out of nothing sometimes, and other times I kind of let things roll off my back without hesitation. Little things in general don’t bother me, it’s when those little things add up to big things that I become incensed. This is what is happening to me in Germany.
I’ve complained a lot, and depressing you readers, and I’m really sorry about that. I’ve had disagreements with friends, family, and foreigners alike; this has been a troubling time for me. It seems like I’m having an implosion, and just trying to talk about this has left some friends and family to advising me that I should seek professional help. At first I thought, yeah I guess that is what I should do. Then it struck me; wait a minute, aren’t I supposed to talk to my friends and family about my problems? The thing is, I went to an adjustment counselor here in Germany, and he is super nice, but in our sessions (which I still go to), he told me everything I’m experiencing is completely normal for an expat and that I should seek solace in my friends. Confusing.
Which is pretty much the number #1 reason why I blog as of late. Because I’m not getting that support and I don’t feel like I’m crazy but I don’t want burden others. I hope that is never the case. I think when you are an expat blogger, you should be honest. You can’t sugarcoat your experiences, it’s lying to yourself and to them, and I think it gives you an example of something you MIGHT experience. Everyone experiences things
differently, some expats adjusted just fine without incident, whereas some have much worse experiences than me.
I made some changes that should hopefully alleviate the stress and difficulty being here. I quit my job; I didn’t think it was such a good fit for me, and I think the staff felt the same. This job kept me up late at night, and was the cause of many tears. Now I have to figure out what I want to do next, maybe teach English classes? Teach baking? Who knows. I have to make opportunities for myself here, and that actually excites me.
I would love to travel a bit more; I see other expats writing about travels a lot and I want to do that!! I have a gigantic list of places I want to see and experience. I think I would like to write more also, about much happier things too. I want to be happier here!!! I want to take a photography class, the issue is that my German is not awesome quite yet. I could take more German classes but I think I wanna hold off on that till I have more balance. I want to learn more arts & crafty things, and for goodness sake, I want to go to those InterNations meetings and make friends. I’m not sure I will, but I want to work myself up to it. I would also love to make friends here and have dinners and Halloween parties. It’s a lot, but I want these things. I want my German life to be as happy as my American one.
And I want to thank you all for reading this and offering support, and not losing faith in me. It means the world to me.
P.S. Happy Halloween!