Sunshine!

It’s sunny, and warm outside! I’ve been waiting so long to say this; I almost thought it wouldn’t happen. The sun has a very positive effect on me; I went from being a Whiny Winnie to a Happy Hannah, I’ve had rather good luck so far, tennis is on tv, bacon was on sale in Penny Markt yesterday, which mean sunshine AND blts!, and I got my 3 year visa!!! And even better, I got the visa without Germany-Sun-Rays-1-1152x864requirements, meaning no language/integration courses are necessary for me to remain in the country, and after 3 years, I can apply and will most likely get the unlimited visa for permanent residency!! Oh happy day indeed!

I’ve had a lot on my plate recently with you know; showering and clothing myself in a timely manner, eating when hungry,  drinking loads of water because of the crazy pollen outside, checking for nonexistent emails, napping, going on walks, grocery shopping, thinking about doing laundry/dishes but ultimately finding I’m just too lazy for it, watching tennis and repeats of ER (the show I never liked or watched back in America), actually working on projects and recipe development, cleaning (always takes a lot out of me), and sometimes meeting up with friends. See? I lead a very busy life. I’m not allowed to work properly till mid-July, so I am enjoying the somewhat life of leisure lifestyle, although to be fair, there’s not much too leisure about it. I’m staying on an incredibly low budget because it’s nice to do so, and I’ve been writing in my spare time. But I have had a difficult time writing in this space.

Maybe I don’t feel like I have anything remarkable to write about (true) and maybe it’s the sunshine and promise of naps to come emanating from my couch (also very true), but my inspiration/motivation is low. I have no desire to do jobs at this point that aren’t in line with my passionate pursuits, because we don’t need money bad enough and I’m tired of compromising; I gave up a lot of dreams that I didn’t think were significant when I first arrived her only to realize later just how significant they are to who I am. I am my own boss, I do struggle with authority unless of course that authority is the kind of person I look up to, then it’s not an issue. My happiest positions561661_201192523351017_1981484496_n were ones where no one told me what to do, and whenever I worked at libraries (I mean, who wouldn’t be happy working around books all day?). I’ve never met a stupid librarian, and that is where I belong, around people who elevate me and inspire me to challenge myself. In pastry, yeah I’m good, as long as can do whatever the heck I want. I turned away from pastry when I realized how tired and worn out I felt at the end of the day (or night, more likely), the stress that I sometimes thrived upon was hard to come down from at the end of the shift, and I was always so conscientious of my work and what other people thought about it. All of which is crazy, because I love baking and pastry arts. I’m just more in love with job security, relaxation, benefits, and being able to work with people who make me really happy.

Thus is my life, incredibly fortunate yet still missing that one ingredient that makes it all come together. I hope I find it and my path in life soon because I thoroughly enjoy feeling useful and good at something. Meanwhile we’ll be on our way to Greece in less than 2 weeks, and summer should start to be in full swing any day now. Yay for walks to the gelateria in town, and even more yay for being able to wear minimal clothing finally! I’ve had enough of jackets and pants! (Side note, I’ll still be wearing bottoms, don’t worry!)

So that’s my post for the week, and next week I hope to be back to myself. Thanks for reading!

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3 thoughts on “Sunshine!

  1. “I’ve had a lot on my plate recently with you know; showering and clothing myself in a timely manner, eating when hungry, drinking loads of water because of the crazy pollen outside, checking for nonexistent emails, napping, going on walks, grocery shopping, thinking about doing laundry/dishes but ultimately finding I’m just too lazy for it, watching tennis and repeats of ER (the show I never liked or watched back in America), actually working on projects and recipe development, cleaning (always takes a lot out of me), and sometimes meeting up with friends. See? I lead a very busy life.”
    Made me laugh out loud, because it sounds exactly like my to do list!

  2. Hi Ellie! I came across your blog for the first time today, it was like reading about some of my own experiences here! I live in NRW, also newly married to a German, I came here about 2 1/2 years ago (for love 🙂 and am also learning German and looking for a job which I can enjoy, (my current one is not very satisfying but my language skills have improved dramatically). I do have this homesickness and frustration often but I am also very happy for the opportunity to live in Europe and be able to travel and experience a place that is so different from the US (I’m from Cali). I have friends here but I find myself missing the sarcasm and puns and silly, easy humor that I have with my friends back home..I’m 26 and I wanna go out with my girls and talk about nonsense.. Debate the sincerity of naming a child North West…drink some cocktails and complain about work, make fun and vent about coworkers.. I just haven’t found these girls yet which I can be myself around.. I know once I get more plugged in, I’ll feel even more at home..And more like myself. Anyhoo.. Just want to give you a shout out and say your blog cheered me up today! If your ever in the Köln/Bonn area swing by for a beer 🙂

    1. I know how you feel, I miss being silly and ridiculous with people. And man do I miss good cocktails. I think I’ll be heading up there at some point. Please feel free to contact me at aliedow@gmail.com.

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