Big Dreams and The German

I’m a dreamer and I married the practical German. He’s the crusher of my grandiose desires, a rain cloud on my sunny day and the smelter of my golden ideas. He just doesn’t see the point to have the things I want to do or see or have. For instance, “why go to Hawaii when you can go to Mallorca?” Yes, he asked me that. Or- “why make so many cookies when there are just two of us?” Pessimism-vs.-optimism-350x262Or- “no, no no sweetie, this is a bad idea.”  Something he says about many of my ideas, namely the B&B idea I had where I was all like- oooo we should buy a B&B and have a business, completely overlooking the fact that I hate hospitality services because I’m not good at them. I was once a waitress and I forgot most orders, I often told people they were wrong to pick this or that item, and I kept dropping plates. As for cleanliness of our home, I make the bed every morning but it’s never truly clean until I get around to it which is you know, once a week or every other week. Needless to say, he didn’t just say no, he laughed ad nauseam about it. I’ll admit, maybe I was being a little romantic and unrealistic about it, but I shan’t be laughed at!

Regardless, my newest idea he shot down was my desire to own a house for our future children in Germany (since we will most likely stay here) and then remodel it into a New England style abode that I grew up with. Big open spaces, antique and old looking, big yards with an apple tree maybe, and kind of creepy which will make it perfect for a haunted house party near Halloween. Plus, I really want an AGA stove in the kitchen, which will be our centerpiece and talking point, and everyone will gather around it and sing songs about Christmas while numerous cookies bake happily inside, warming us and enthralling us with the pleasant aroma. Once he looked up the price for an AGA (they can run you into $12,000, but hey, they can cook 4 different things at different temps at once!), he made a strange displeased noise and decided they just weren’t energy efficient anyway, and it was a big fat no.

Bild10He also said no to the whole remodeling thing too— “it’s just too expensive in Germany!” Ach! Do Germans even dream? I’m a happily married and incredibly entertained wife, but what is up with all of this impossible-ness? Where do the Germans get that from? And believe me, I’m not the first American wife of a German to think that, it seems to be a thing. Maybe we’re on the extremes about it— Americans don’t think most things are impossible even when they are, and Germans thing nearly all things just cannot happen the way you want them to. Maybe they are the world’s pessimists and Americans are the dreamers? Either way, combining the two together can be somewhat disastrous unless one of us compromises, and being that I’m living in Germany, adapting to the way of life here, currently not taking in an income that I find satisfactory, I guess it must be me. Anyone other spouses feel this way? Ever see your dreams vanish and crushed before your eyes because there is simply no way to have your cake and eat it too?

Meanwhile, he’s on his much deserved vacation for the next two weeks, so we’re off today for a weekend away and then we go to  Greece next week!!! Super excited for a new adventure!  And perhaps during this time,  I can teach the German that dreams aren’t bad things, they actually give you something to look forward to, and motivate you. And who knows, maybe he’ll agree to my AGA someday, at least before the whole New England style haunted house idea anyway….

Thanks for reading and see you in a week or two!!


4 thoughts on “Big Dreams and The German

  1. Haha! I love the oven and who has ever complained about too many cookies??? 🙂 But I would agree that Germans do seem very serious and my husband is definitely a pessimist; however, he is also a dreamer like me. You should tell your husband our story because if it weren’t for us being dreamers, we wouldn’t be here now. 🙂 Enjoy your vacation!

  2. This was one of my husband’s biggest complaints about working in Germany. Whenever he had something good happen in the lab or an interesting new idea, the Germans there would be super negative about it and shoot things down. I don’t know how any of them manage to be scientists with that no-can-ever-do attitude. Perhaps part of the reason many of them always seem unusually miserable at work.

  3. I find it hilarious that he complained about too many cookies. I made cookies at the weekend (for a party… but then we didn’t go to the party) and my boyfriend has taken them to work… apparantly his coworkers have all been asking when I would be baking again. But if he hadn’t taken them to work he would quite happily have eaten them all himself. No amount of cookies is too many!

    I do agree that Germans are very serious though. And the whole buying a house thing? Despite the fact that he was brought up in a house, my boyfriend cannot understand why I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in a flat…

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