Remember my mostly negative review of Greece? Well I forgot to say something really positive about that trip, something that I’ve never experienced back in America. Europeans are completely comfortable with their bodies, and do not care how you look or what you wear. You could be 350 pounds, squeezed into an itty bitty polka-dot bikini, and no one bats an eye. You read that correctly, no one cares. These are the people who are comfortable wearing speedos, and are 100% fine with nudity on tv, signs, news, and at the pool. This is an incredibly refreshing perspective to experience especially when you come from America, home of the body/fat shaming. Now that’s not to say Europeans don’t judge you, oh goodness do they. If I walk out wearing clothing too colorful, shoes that don’t match the rest of my outfit, my coat not buckled yet tied, I tend to get some strange looks. Add that on top of not being African (which is pretty much their experience with dark people), yet being much darker than their pale complexions and you have a lot of looks coming your way. If no one stares at me on the way to the grocery store, I feel like they are not only getting used to me, but that I’m dressed correctly.
Anyway, this got to me to think about Germany again, and will this be the place we raise our multicultural babes. Remember a long time ago I wrote a list of reasons why I cannot imagine leaving, and that was a pretty good list. But I’ll do you a few more. I may not understand the education system, but I’ve read enough articles to know it’s more successful than ours, so I guess that’s pretty good. UNIVERSITY is free. Cannot express how that makes me feel articulately, but I’m in the dumps with my own student loan issues and the increasing rates. And of course, in leu of the Trayvon Martin decision, we don’t live in a place where an unarmed kid can walk late at night, get followed, get fatally shot, and his killer wouldn’t be jailed for 44 days after the incident. And then Zimmerman, after giving an implausible (physically so) explanation, would not get any sort of punishment. That really upsets me, and this isn’t the first time I’ve been upset with the news (I usually am actually, I just don’t write about it), but the reason I’m bringing this up is because we’re having a child; how would I feel losing my child like that, or having to explain to my child that “sweetie, you can’t walk outside so late at night with a hoodie on, someone might profile you, kill you and would get away with it.” What kind of message does that send to the youth of America? Can you imagine how Trayvon Martin’s parents feel?
But I digress…. my emotions are high, so let’s move on for the sake of levity to other, less intense thoughts. I’m definitely going through something in Germany at the moment, whether it’s just loneliness as most of my friends and family being are so far away, I have cravings for foods that don’t exist in Germany, I still haven’t had a wedding, and probably never will :-(, and I won’t have a baby shower because I don’t have that kind of support/friend system over here. And I had this whole autumny Halloween themed planned party for a baby shower too, mostly because I love making Halloween treats and candies. Wah wah. But this is still a better place for us and babyface; we have a better quality of life over here, I don’t have to work my butt off to pay the bills, cost of living is cheaper, the quality of food is better and healthier, traveling around is cheaper… that more than makes up for my loneliness and somewhat selfish dreams. And to be honest, if I went home right now, I’m not even sure where I’d go or who I’d stay with, I don’t have friends and family like that anymore that will give me a place to stay and spend time pampering me, my Mom is gone and she was that person. So I better hop to it and make some lasting forever friendships over here, or I may become a weird recluse that starts collecting weird things and muttering things to myself.
Those are my thoughts for now, random and emotional and hard to articulate but I’m sure you get me.