This post was inspired by From Casinos to Castles who wrote about her top 5 German foods she despises (which you can find here), and I have to say, she surprised me with her list. Who can hate chocolate croissants, proper rouladen (yes with speck, pickles and a teensy bit of mustard– ewwwwww to eggs, they don’t belong in there!) and as the German says, Spezzi?! Than I’ve had the pleasure of eating, and eating VERY well in Germany; my in-laws make especially tasty and traditional food from their family farm and gardens. Their beef is grass-fed, the lettuce/onions/carrots/everything sits behind the barn and apple orchard (which maybe is generous to call, but 6-7 apple trees, peach tree, and plums seems orchard-y to me, and I’m from the land of apple orchards) in a large garden patch, and they have the best vine ripened tomatoes I’ve ever had. Away from their house, I get to enjoy the German’s spätzle, goulasch, and tafelspitz—- all of which are delightful. I do believe though that these things can go horribly wrong if not made well. So here’s my list of German foods I CANNOT stand, and this was not made to offend nor upset anyone.
I hate them with a passion parallel to peas. These chewy gelatin like blobs with tiny bits of potato send me over the top with disgust. Now, maybe I’m biased because the second time I had one (I really wanted to like these) I got ill, but ever since, I cannot even smell nor look at these things. When I say chewy, I mean it, these are firm and traditionally served with roasted meat. Even talking about them makes me feel sick.
2. Jellied meat or Schwartenmagen
Meat- yes. Jelly- yes, especially on toast. Jellied meat- um no. This is popular, especially out here in Bavaria, and while I don’t mind that their cold cuts have some form of it in there sometimes, I can’t get down with jellied meats overall. It’s like eating meat flavored ….and chewy I might add— jello.
3. German versions of American things OR What Germans think Americans eat
When you see any products in the grocery store here with an American flag on it (especially during American week), dollars to donuts it’s going to be sweet and/or gross. Yeah they think we eat that. Side note- I’ve known many an expat to say “Since I’ve been in Germany, I realize American sweets are too sweet,” and “I love German sweets because they don’t have so much sugar like back home.” A little piece of me dies when I hear those two statements above, because I, as a prof pastry chef, believe if you want to have good sweets, it’ll cost you maybe a bit more in American than in Germany. Cheap stuff tastes cheap, sweet and gross no matter where you go. And Germany is so much better than offering their versions of our foods.
4. Fischbrötchen or Matjes with Onions on a roll.
The smell is so unbelievably nauseating— and that is my biggest reason for hating this one. Although when you think about raw onions and fish together…. yuck.
I like curry. I like wurst (mostly). I don’t like them together; a combination of flavors I just can’t enjoy.
What about all of you? What German foods can’t you stand? To be fair, I didn’t write this easily, I had to really sit here and think about the ones I truly dislike. I’ll have to write the next post about the German foods I absolutely cannot get enough of soon. Thanks for reading!