So we’re back in Deutschland! Brooklyn was a crazy adventure, and I admit, I’m sad to leave my job and the familiarity that comes with being in my home country—- but I will not miss Brooklyn too much. Now if I had lived in Manhattan (like I did 6/7 years ago), I might have had an emotional breakdown at the airport.
Which I sorta did anyway, but that had nothing to do with leaving the US and everything to do with flying solo with a near 3 year-old, who is just not having this whole structure, security and listening thing. As I write this, she is on the floor screaming about not being able to find her orange shirt that is legit, a foot away from her….. Such is life.
I will miss some aspects of life in Brooklyn; Fresh Direct, goodness, did I eat so much delicious food on Fresh Direct, especially watermelon (you simply can’t get such good watermelon here in Deutschland, believe me, I’ve tried). I don’t know why, but their whole mini-watermelons changed my world over the last 2-3 months of blazing hell summer in the city. Meanwhile, my husband, while eating said watermelon, would lament on missing his favorite things, including weißwurst. Thus I have renamed this blog. I will miss watermelon, and he missed weißwurst. And again, as I write this, he is setting a pan of water on the stove to make some delicious weißwurst, while he prepares to take a quick outing with the little one to get some fresh pretzels from the bakery. And my daughter has finally found that orange shirt. Life really does keep on going while you are trying to capture a moment.
She starts kindergarten in 10 days. German kindergarten. Her German will be better than mine in a few weeks time, despite taking 2 German courses and trying to learn on my feet over here. And I have learned quite a lot of German, even while I was in Brooklyn. I feel refreshed; I’m doing better at it than ever. Maybe it was a remove-yourself-and-see-a-new-perspective type of deal. I don’t know. But I feel ok with it right now.
I feel ok with everything right now, but also, confused. I knew, almost a month in, that Brooklyn was not my home, would not be a place for me to settle. It just didn’t suit me. And if that seems weird, it’s because Brooklyn isn’t how you think it is in movies and shows. In a way, it’s segregated by culture and economic-status. In the movies, everyone lives in these beautiful lofts with leafy green trees lining the blocks and little cafés filling those blocks in. But in reality, Brooklyn, the farther away from Manhattan you go, the less appealing it becomes. I could explain to you the many sides of Brooklyn in this post, but I won’t. That part of my life is over now and it’s hard to convey something you lived through only for 8 solid months. My view of Brooklyn was a mere glimpse because I knew the moment I landed there, that we would leave.
Now Nürnberg on the other hand? I’ve lived here for 6 years. This place is the closest thing to home I’ve got. Definitely the longest I’ve lived in a place since my Mom passed away, 9 years-ago yesterday. And while I have a myriad of emotions regarding that, that’s a post that I won’t write. I’ve written it before, over and over, and while her loss continues, always, to knock my breath away when I least expect it, I know how to keep that pain from hindering my life now. I know that’s what she would have wanted. Life keeps moving on.
Nürnberg might be the home we settle into. Or it will be a stepping stone to the place where we both feel right. The thing is; you can only miss watermelon in the summer months, whereas you can miss weißwurst all year-long. One of us has to compromise, or else we stand still. Right now, we’re here and we’ll somehow figure it out in time.
I have so much to say, so much to explore and hopefully, this time around, I’ll actively try to make new friends. I have a fantastic new project I’m working on, that I started to really hunker down and work on in Brooklyn, and that’s so exciting for me!! For once, the future is full of possibilities I never imagined. At least not realistically; I am a dreamer after all.
So if you guys are still interested, we are back, and I’m back to writing more on here. Because it makes sense, and I’m not done with everything I’ve got to say just yet. Thanks for reading and thanks for going on this adventure with me. Now let’s get back to business.